I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
