I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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