You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
