I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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