You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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