we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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