No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
