I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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