Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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