so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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