the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
