i need an iv and a liver transplant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
