I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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