So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
