I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
