dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize