quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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