I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
