oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
