I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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