That's intense
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
