I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
