it hurts more in the daytime
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
