At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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