apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
