Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
