when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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