I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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