Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
