how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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