I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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