That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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