Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
