i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
