He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They are going to name an STD after you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
