just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
