so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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