saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Small penises have feelings too.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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