I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to calm my uterus...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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