I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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