apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
