Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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