listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
