I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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