Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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