Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
