I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
