how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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