I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
