There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
