when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bring me that man meat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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