Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
