Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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