omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
