I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
