also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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