I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
