forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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