I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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